(Links to previous columns at the end of this column)

Cool Kids

It was 19 degrees when I dropped my son off at school. I was wearing long johns, wool pants, a turtleneck, a wool sweater, and a parka. I barely fit behind the wheel. Then I noticed a teenage boy getting out of his car. He was wearing shorts. It goes without saying he wasn't wearing a coat, because how dumb would it look to wear a coat with shorts? I'll tell you how dumb; almost as dumb as it looks to wear shorts when it’s 19 degrees out. 

I said to myself, "Where are his parents?" No, that's not what I said. What I really said was, "YEA! I'm not the only mother who can't get her teenager to wear a coat in the dead of winter." At least my son wasn't wearing shorts.

The question is; why don't teenagers, an incredibly bright bunch as a whole, have the good sense to dress for winter? It can't be just because their parents want them to, though I know what a disincentive that is. 

I suspect the main reason kids don't wear coats is because it's their job to worry their mothers. It's nature's way. You think I'm kidding, don't you? But hear me out. Children come into the world, and as they grow up, their mothers grow old. This is no coincidence. If I look middle-aged, it's because worrying about my son has made me look middle- aged. Also because I am.

The aging process in mothers is clearly hastened by the fretting they do about their children. Interestingly, the aging process in fathers is hastened by listening to their wives fret about their children. And one of the many things mothers fret about is their kids, out there in the world, chilled to the bone, while perfectly good winter coats lie in heaps wherever they dropped them last, possibly some time last winter.

That leads me to another thing mother's fret about: Spending good money on a winter coat that will be worn a total of 37 seconds, and that's while the child is trying it on at the store.

To be fair, I have to say children's thermostats are different than mature thermostats. I've known this since that first time, long ago, when my son asked me, "Why do I have to wear a coat when I'm not cold?" And I wisely responded, "You have to wear a coat because I'M cold." My thermostat may be mature, but I'm not. It's answers like that one that make a mother lose credibility.

Of course, teens also go coatless for the same reason they text while riding their bicycle hands free down the side of the road. They think they're invincible. Plus they want to look cool, and they do. Cool as cucumbers . . . the ones you find forgotten in the garden after the first frost.

Finally, I think it's a maturity issue. When our kids were young, we hauled their coats, hats, and mittens around when they weren't wearing them so that they could flitter around unburdened, and we could save ourselves the trouble of tracking down their coats, hats, and mittens when it was time to leave.

They grew up thinking of us as pack animals and they liked it. Eventually we refused to do it anymore, but our kids weren't ready take over the responsibility. Until they are, I think we could convince them to dress for winter by volunteering to follow them around all day, carrying their coats for them whenever they come indoors. They'd like that, wouldn't they?

(For permission to reprint this column or to subscribe, contact drosby@rushmore.com .)

©2012 Dorothy Rosby

Previous columns . . .

Inspiring New Thoughts

I read somewhere that the average person thinks 60,000 thoughts every day! That sounds like A LOT! Of course, that's if you're average, and really, how many of us can say that? The author went on to say that, no matter how many thoughts you have, 95% of them are the same ones you had yesterday. Ouch! That makes me feel so shallow! And it did yesterday too.  Read more . . .

At Least my Phone is Smart

I was in the right century but the wrong decade again, and I was happy there. Read more.

Losing My Rose-Colored Glasses

I took off my rose-colored glasses, and now I can't find them. Actually, they were my brand new reading glasses with pink frames and I lost them after I'd worn them once. Then I found them, put them in a safe place, and haven't seen them since. Read more . . .

Character building a crock

I've always told my son that frustrating situations like this one make us smarter, wiser, stronger, and kinder. I've quoted General George S. Patton, "Pressure makes diamonds." And Eleanor Roosevelt, "A woman is like a tea bag. You can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." And me, "Manure makes your garden grow." Read more . . .

Small Town Girl Makes the News

My college journalism professor said on more than one occasion, "Get the obituary right. It's probably the only time they've been in the newspaper." It's obvious my professor had never lived in a small town. If he had, he would have known that you don't have to die to get into the newspaper--though the story may be longer if you do. Read more . . .

Guilty Conscience

Be honest. Have you ever tapped your brakes when you saw a highway patrolman parked by the road--even though you WEREN'T speeding? Me too! It's my Guilty-Conscience-Even-Though-I-Haven't-Done-Anything-Wrong-Yet Syndrome, the nagging sense that if they're looking at me like that, I either messed up or I was just about to. Read more . . .

Thumbs up for Texting!

My fingers know where the keys are on a keyboard. I don't, but my fingers do. It's muscle memory, like dancers have, only not as graceful. And like professional football players have, only not as lucrative. Read more . . .

Fear of Flying

I'm afraid of many of things, but I’ve never been afraid of flying. Here's why: A lot of people go on trips and the vast majority of them come back. Read more . . .

Isn't that Ironic?

I told my son to leave me ALONE because I was TRYING to read a magazine article! The article was about good parenting. I'm not sure, but I think that was the day he asked me to define "ironic." Read more . . .

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